Announcer:
NEXT ON LIFE TODAY!
AMY SMALLEY
AND STEVEN SCOTT
HELP YOU APPLY
PROVERBS POWER
BY LEARNING HOW TO COMMUNICATE
WITHOUT BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.
>> PEOPLE LEAN
INTO CONVERSATIONS
WHEN YOU ASK
THEM QUESTIONS;
LIKE, WHAT IS IT
THAT YOU NEED?
HOW CAN
I HELP?
INSTEAD OF SAYING, "WELL,
THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
I KNOW I CAN SOLVE
YOUR PROBLEMS IN TWO SECONDS."
A LOT OF TIMES
THAT'S WHAT HUSBANDS
WILL SOMETIMES DO,
"I'VE GOT THIS! JUST DON'T
HAVE THAT AS A FRIEND --
DON'T HAVE HER
AS YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE."
♪
Betty: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR JOINING US.
I'M BETTY AND THIS IS JAMES.
James: AND WE'RE THRILLED
TO HAVE THE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
OF GARY SMALLEY WHO JUST
BLESS MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
ABOUT AS MUCH AS ANYBODY
ON THE PLANET.
HIS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IS HERE
AND SHE IS HERE
WITH STEVE SCOTT
WHO HAS JUST PUBLISHED
SOME TREMENDOUS
TRANSFORMING BOOKS
BECAUSE THEY'RE FULL
OF THE TRANSFORMING WORD
OF THE LIVING GOD:
JESUS' WORDS, SOLOMON'S WORDS.
AND NOW HE'S GOT A SERIES
THAT IS ON AUDIO,
PROVERBS POWER
WHERE HE IS TALKING ABOUT
THE REAL, LET'S SAY,
HOW TO SUCCEED
BASED UPON THE WISDOM OF GOD.
WELL, AMY WAS REALLY IMPACTED
BY WHAT HE SHARED EVEN THOUGH
SHE HAD HEARD A LOT FROM
HER WONDERFUL FATHER-IN-LAW
AND WONDERFUL HUSBAND
WHO TEACHES
THESE GREAT CONCEPTS TOO.
SO SHE IS JOINING US.
I WANT YOU
TO WELCOME STEVE SCOTT
AND AMY SMALLEY TO LIFE TODAY;
WOULD YOU?
Amy: THANK YOU!
James: GLAD TO HAVE YOU.
OKAY, STEVE, DO YOU WANT
TO JUST HAND THE BALL
TO AMY RIGHT UPFRONT OR
DO YOU WANT HER TO TAKE THE --
HOW DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
Steven: WELL, LET ME
JUST GIVE THE BACKGROUND.
SO WE DECIDED TO DO
THIS MENTORING SERIES
ON PROVERBS
AND IT'S VERY SPECIFIC.
IT IS NOT JUST A PROVERB
AND THEN PREACHING ON IT.
WHAT CHANGED MY LIFE
WAS BEING MENTORED IN SKILLS
AND TECHNIQUES
TO APPLY THE PROVERBS
TO OUR MOMENT BY MOMENT WALK
WITH CHRIST,
TO OUR BUSINESS LIFE,
OUR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS,
PARENTING.
PROVERBS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING
-- EVERYTHING!
IN FACT, I TELL PEOPLE
THERE IS NOT A SINGLE
IMPORTANT QUESTION IN LIFE
THAT PROVERBS HASN'T
GIVEN AN ANSWER TO.
BUT HAVING THE ANSWER
ISN'T ENOUGH.
WE NEED
THE PRACTICAL APPLICATION.
WE NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT
TO EMPOWER US
BUT WE ALSO NEED TO KNOW
SPECIFICALLY WHAT TO DO.
SO I ASKED AMY WHEN WE WERE
PUTTING THIS SERIES TOGETHER
TO DO IT WITH ME.
SO SHE BASICALLY,
SHE INTRODUCES EACH SESSION
AND THEN I GO AHEAD
AND I MENTOR THE LISTENER
IN THOSE AND WE HAVE
A GUIDEBOOK TO HELP YOU
THROUGH THE MATERIAL.
THEN AFTERWARDS AMY
AND I GO AHEAD AND DIALOGUE
AND WE GET INTO
SOME OF THE PRACTICAL THINGS
THAT SHE HAS SEEN
THOSE PROVERBS APPLY TO
HER MARRIAGE MINISTRY.
SHE AND HER HUSBAND
HAVE A MARRIAGE MINISTRY
THAT HAS BEEN FOR YEARS NOW,
I'M SURE
THEY'RE INTO THE DECADES.
James: WHERE WOULD THEY
FIND IT, OUR VIEWERS,
ONLINE IF THEY WANTED TO KNOW
WHAT SHE AND HER HUSBAND
ARE DOING?
WHAT WOULD BE THE WEBSITE?
Amy: SMALLEYINSTITUTE.COM.
WE HAVE DONE
MARRIAGE INTENSIVES
AND WE HAVE RESEARCHED
WHAT IS IT --
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT WHAT GARY,
I CALL HIM POPPY,
WHAT HE DID WAS TALKING ABOUT
HOW CAN YOU APPLY PRINCIPLES?
THAT'S WHAT HE DID --
THAT'S BASICALLY
THAT HE STARTED WITH STEVE.
IS HE STARTED KIND OF
HOW DO YOU APPLY
THESE PRINCIPLES
TO YOUR MARRIAGE,
TO YOUR LIFE, TO YOUR WORK?
AND WHEN YOU DO THAT,
AND THAT'S REALLY WHAT WE DO
WITH OUR COUPLES ON ONE,
TWO, THREE DAYS STRAIGHT,
WE WORK WITH A COUPLE
AND WE TEACH THEM
HOW TO LOVE WELL.
IN THIS SESSION
THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,
THE COMMUNICATION,
A LOT OF THE SKILLS
THAT WE TEACH OUR COUPLES,
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE DIALOGUING
WITH STEVE ABOUT
BECAUSE I'M LIKE, OH MY GOSH!
THAT IS JUST LIKE THIS CONCEPT
-- THAT IS JUST LIKE
TAKING A TIME OUT.
OF COURSE, THAT IS RIGHT!
OF COURSE, PROVERBS
WOULD TALK ABOUT THAT.
James: AND AGAIN, THE WEBSITE
IF THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU
AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE DOING?
Amy: SMALLEYINSTITUTE.COM.
James: ALL RIGHT, THERE IT IS.
NOW THEN OKAY,
YOU ALL ARE WORKING TOGETHER
WHICH IS WONDERFUL.
AND FOR SOME REASON
SHE IS EXCITED ABOUT
THE COMMUNICATION --
THE COMMUNICATION ASPECT.
SO TELL ME
WHY IS THAT SO IMPORTANT
AND HOW SHE IS INVOLVED IN IT
AND HER IMPORTANCE IN IT.
Steven: LIKE WE MENTIONED
IN THE LAST SHOW
WAS THAT COMMUNICATION IS
THE NUMBER ONE PROBLEM
IN BUSINESS, NUMBER ONE
PROBLEM IN MARRIAGE,
NUMBER ONE PROBLEM
IN PARENTING.
BETTY TOUCHED ON SOMETHING
REALLY IMPORTANT AND THAT IS
THE FRAME OF REFERENCE,
THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE PERSON
YOU'RE TALKING TO.
THAT'S WHERE YOU START.
YOU DON'T START WITH
HOW YOU ARE FEELING
AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.
YOU START BY LISTENING
AND LEARNING
WHAT THE OTHER PERSON
IS SAYING AND FEELING.
TO DO THAT, YOU ACTUALLY
NEED SOME TECHNIQUES,
SOME SKILL SETS.
SO WHAT I LOVE ABOUT AMY
IS GARY MENTORED ME
IN THE SKILL SETS TO APPLY
ALL THE PROVERBS
ON COMMUNICATION.
FOR ME IN BUSINESS,
IT MADE ME LITERALLY,
IT MADE OUR COMPANY
BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
BEFORE THOSE TECHNIQUES,
I WAS IN LIFE INSURANCE
AND SIX MONTHS
BEFORE I WAS FIRED,
I SOLD TWO POLICIES,
ONE TO ME
AND ONE TO MY BEST FRIEND.
BUT AFTER LEARNING THESE
SKILL SETS IN COMMUNICATION,
I SOLD OVER
2 MILLION LIFE INSURANCE
AND HEALTH INSURANCE POLICIES
WITH ONLY TWO MINUTES
OF COMMUNICATION
WITH THE VIEWER.
THAT'S THE POWER
OF THESE TECHNIQUES.
I GENERATED OVER
40 MILLION PHONE CALLS TO ALL
OF OUR DIFFERENT PRODUCT LINES
USING THE VERY TECHNIQUES
THAT GARY TAUGHT ME
TO APPLY THE PROVERBS.
NOW THE REASON
I WANTED AMY TO TALK ON THIS
IS BECAUSE SHE IS IN
THE TRENCHES WITH COUPLES
THAT ARE REALLY IN BAD SHAPE,
EITHER SEPARATED
OR ABOUT TO GET DIVORCED.
James: AND THEY'RE
NOT COMMUNICATING.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT
ABOUT WHEN WE WERE THINKING
ABOUT WHEN YOU HAVE TO LISTEN
TO THAT OTHER PERSON
A LITTLE BIT?
AND BETTY POINTED THAT OUT
YESTERDAY.
YOU GO INTO BUY SOMETHING
AND THE GUY THAT COMES UP,
OR THE SALES PERSON
TRYING TO TELL YOU
WHAT THEY'VE GOT TO SELL YOU
AND WHAT YOU NEED,
THAT PERSON MAKES YOU WANT
TO GO TO THE NEXT STORE.
AND THAT'S THE WAY
SO MANY PEOPLE OPERATE
WHICH IS THE WAY
THE DEVIL OPERATES.
BUT IF THEY ACT LIKE
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
AND THEY ACT LIKE THEY CARE,
WOULD YOU CALL THAT
A GOOD FIRST STEP
IN COMMUNICATION?
Steven: IT IS CRITICAL.
IN FACT, MY NEPHEW
HAS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
SALES PROGRAM IN ACADEMIA.
AMAZING WHAT HIS TEAM
HAS ACCOMPLISHED.
HE CREATED THE CURRICULUM.
THE VERY FIRST THING
HE TEACHES IS AUTHENTICITY
AND AUTHENTICITY
IS DISCOVERING THE TRUE NEED
OF THE PERSON.
HE TEACHES PEOPLE,
IF YOUR PRODUCT
DOESN'T MEET THAT NEED,
YOU ADMIT IT RIGHT AWAY.
AND GUESS WHAT?
THAT PERSON WILL REFER YOU
TO TEN OTHER PEOPLE
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SELL THEM.
MARRIAGE,
WE DON'T WANT TO SELL.
IT IS NOT ABOUT
HER SELLING MICHAEL
ON SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO DO
BUT RATHER IT IS ABOUT
HER CLEARLY COMMUNICATING
HER HEART AND HER MIND
TO WHERE MICHAEL CAN HEAR IT
AND THEN TOGETHER
THEY CAN FIGURE OUT
HOW TO RESOLVE ANY SITUATION.
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO STEAL YOUR THUNDER.
Amy: NO! IT MAKES ME THINK
ABOUT WHAT DO WE WANT
IN A RELATIONSHIP?
DO WE WANT TO WIN
OR DO WE WANT TO HAVE
A GREAT RELATIONSHIP?
REALLY, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
PROVERBS REALLY HAS A LOT
TO SAY ABOUT HOW YOU GET
TO A PLACE
WHERE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WINS,
WHERE YOUR GROWTH WINS.
I THINK MICHAEL AND I --
I THOUGHT LAST HARD DECISION
OF MY LIFE,
I MARRIED GARY SMALLEY'S SON.
OH WE'RE GOING
TO JUST SKATE THROUGH LIFE.
NOT SO!
WE WERE FIGHTING
LIKE CATS AND DOGS.
I'M THE MORE VOCAL,
I'VE GOT A LOT OF ENERGY
AND SO MICHAEL WOULD BE LIKE,
WHY ARE WE YELLING?
I'M LIKE, THIS IS WHAT WE DO.
THIS IS ME BEING PASSIONATE.
AND HE JUST DID NOT
UNDERSTAND THAT AT ALL.
SO FOR ME,
I LEARNED HOW TO COMMUNICATE
IN A WAY THAT WAS GENTLE;
IT WAS PERSUASIVE
BUT IT WAS NOT IN A WAY
THAT DISRUPTED HIM HEARING ME.
LIKE WHAT YOU WERE SAYING
WHEN PEOPLE LEAN INTO
CONVERSATIONS WHEN YOU
ASK THEM QUESTIONS LIKE,
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU NEED?
HOW CAN I HELP?
INSTEAD OF SAYING,
"THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
I KNOW I CAN SOLVE
YOUR PROBLEMS IN TWO SECONDS."
A LOT OF TIMES THAT'S WHAT
HUSBANDS SOMETIMES WILL DO,
"I'VE GOT THIS!
JUST DON'T HAVE THAT
AS A FRIEND --
DON'T HAVE HER
AS YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE."
WELL, IT DOESN'T
REALLY WORK THAT WAY.
AS A WOMAN,
YOU'RE NOT JUST GOING TO --
James: DON'T THINK GIRLS
ARE PRETTY ANYMORE.
YOU'VE GOT ME.
I'M THE ONLY PRETTY ONE
ON THE PLANET.
SO YOU'VE GOT TO BE
STRUCK BLIND.
HERE'S THE DEAL: THE HONESTY.
WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN.
I POINT OUT TO BETTY,
I WATCH THE LADIES.
THE LADIES WATCH THE LADIES
MORE THAN
THE MEN WATCH THE LADIES.
THE LADIES WATCH
THE WAY LADIES ARE DRESSED
MORE THAN MEN WATCH.
LADIES NOTICE THE HAIR
AND THE EYES AND THE LIPS
AND THE FIGURE.
THEY JUST NOTICE IT.
THEY'LL EVEN COME IN TALKING
ABOUT, DID YOU SEE
SHE HAD SMALL ANKLES?
IT'S CRAZY ALL THE THINGS
THEY TALK ABOUT.
IF WE GET ALL EDGY AND TOUCHY
TO WHERE WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND
REALITY AND HAVE
A CONVERSATION, YOU COULD
JUST BUILD ANIMOSITY
AND HOSTILITY IMMEDIATELY.
DID Y'ALL SEE THAT
IN A LOT OF YOUR MARRIAGE
COUNSELING SESSIONS?
Amy: WHAT YOU'RE JUST
TALKING ABOUT IS CALLED
THE NEGATIVE BELIEF.
THE REASON WHY THE TWO OF YOU
ARE JUST SO CASUAL
WITH EACH OTHER
ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS IS
BECAUSE YOU KNOW UNDERLYING --
A: THERE IS
A DEEP-SEEDED COMMITMENT,
A COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER,
A COMMITMENT TO GOD.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE THAT,
YOU KNOW HOW INCREDIBLY
PRECIOUS BETTY IS
AND YOU SPEAK ABOUT HER
THAT WAY,
THE WAY THAT BETTY
SPEAKS ABOUT YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT
YOU LOVE EACH OTHER.
SO GUESS WHAT?
I CAN RECOGNIZE
A PRETTY FLOWER BECAUSE
IT IS A PRETTY FLOWER.
IT IS JUST SOMETHING.
BUT WHEN YOU HAVE
THAT NEGATIVE BELIEF AND
THERE IS UNRESOLVED CONFLICT
THAT'S HAPPENED
AND THERE'S SOMETHING
IN YOU IS LIKE OH WHY?
AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
YOU ARE BATTLING FACTS,
YOU'RE BATTLING OPINIONS
ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS
AND IT GETS YOU INTO
THAT STUCK POSITION.
THEN YOU START THINKING
NEGATIVELY ABOUT EACH OTHER.
AND WE START THINKING, WELL,
THIS ISN'T THE GUY I MARRIED!
THIS ISN'T
THE WOMAN I MARRIED.
ALL SHE IS IS A NAG.
OR HE DOESN'T CARE.
YOU HAVE ALL
THOSE NEGATIVE BELIEFS.
BUT WHEN YOU'RE ABLE
TO TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
TO SAY YOU KNOW WHAT? NO!
I NEED TO BE THINKING
ABOUT POSITIVE THINGS
ABOUT MY SPOUSE.
I NEED TO BE ABLE
TO RESOLVE THINGS AND
COME TO A POSITIVE BELIEF
ABOUT EACH OTHER;
THEN THOSE LITTLE THINGS,
THEY DON'T MATTER ANYMORE.
James: YOU KNOW WE'RE HAVING
TO WORK THROUGH SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW AT MY AGE
AND HER AGE --
Betty: WHAT IS THAT?
James: SHE NEVER
LIKES ME TO TELL THAT
HER AGE IS LIKE A MONTH
BEHIND MY AGE EXACTLY.
SHE SAYS, "WHY DO YOU
HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT?"
BUT MY AGE, WE HAVE
A LITTLE TENSION RISING UP
BECAUSE I DON'T HEAR
VERY WELL.
I HAVE MY HEARING AIDS IN
RIGHT NOW AND I HATE THEM.
Betty: HE DOESN'T WEAR THEM
AT HOME.
James: NO. BECAUSE SEE,
IF I WEAR THEM I NEED
A PSYCHIATRIST TO GET ME
OUT OF WHAT I FEEL BECAUSE
IT IS JUST LIKE SOMEBODY
IS TICKLING MY EARS
ALL THE TIME.
IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I JUST WANT TO ITCH THEM;
I WANT TO SCRATCH THEM.
BUT OKAY,
SO I DON'T HEAR VERY WELL.
AND SHE IS ALWAYS SO SWEET
BUT SOMETIMES
I'LL NOT HEAR IT WELL.
SHE WILL REPEAT IT AND
THEN SHE'LL SHOUT IT AT ME.
THEN I HEARD IT
BUT I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
I SAY,
"HANG ON A MINUTE THERE!
DO YOU KNOW I FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE DISSING ME";
THAT MEANS DISRESPECT.
GUYS DON'T LIKE
TO BE DISRESPECTED.
THEY CAN TAKE A LOT
BUT NOT THAT.
OUR PASTOR, ROBERT MORRIS
AND JIMMY EVANS BOTH TEACH --
I BET Y'ALL TAUGHT ON THAT,
MEN DON'T LIKE
TO BE DISRESPECTED.
Steven: THE NUMBER ONE NEED
OF A MAN IS TO FEEL
ADMIRED AND RESPECTED.
NUMBER ONE!
James: SO I'LL SAY, "BETTY..."
AND IT KIND OF
REALLY BOTHERED HER.
"WELL, YOU CAN'T HEAR,"
SHE SAYS.
SEE, THAT DOESN'T
EVEN SOUND LIKE IT
BUT YOU DO SAY IT DON'T YOU?
Betty: YEAH,
NOT QUITE LIKE YOU SAID IT.
Steven: AT LEAST
YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE.
I'VE BEEN ACCUSED
OF NOT LISTENING TOO.
James: BUT I CAN'T HEAR.
BUT ANYWAY, THE POINT IS,
HERE'S THE DEAL.
WE ACTUALLY REACHED A PLACE
WHERE WE CAN TALK
ABOUT IT OPENLY,
WHERE SHE IS HEARING ME,
THAT IT IS IMPORTANT
NOT TO DISRESPECT
AND I CAN TELL HER, "HONEY,
YOU STEPPED FROM GETTING ME
OVER TO WHERE I CAN HEAR IT
TO WHERE YOU WERE
JUST LIKE MAD AT ME.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE MAD AT YOU.
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HEAR,
I WANT TO HEAR."
THIS IS CALLED COMMUNICATION.
IT IS CALLED OPEN,
HONEST COMMUNICATION.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THAT'S WHAT WE TITLED
IT IN OUR BOOK ON MARRIAGE,
"OPEN, HONEST COMMUNICATION"
-- NOT MAKE-BELIEVE,
NOT SUGARCOAT SOMETHING,
THIS IS HOW WE TALK.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE
SOMEBODY LIKE ME
WHO WILL COME BACK FORCEFULLY?
HOW DO YOU ENDURE THAT --
WHATEVER THAT IS
YOU'RE MARRIED TO?
Betty: I REMEMBER
WHEN WE FIRST MARRIED AND
WE WERE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE.
[Laughter]
WE NEVER CALLED THEM REALLY --
WE HAD LITTLE ARGUMENTS
BUT THEY COULD GET
PRETTY LOUD TOO.
BUT I ALWAYS FELT LIKE
BECAUSE HE COULD SPEAK SO WELL
HE COULD ALWAYS
WIN THE ARGUMENT
BECAUSE HE COULD OUT WORD ME.
SO I WOULD JUST POUT,
LIKE HE SAID;
JUST SHUT UP AND POUT.
HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO POUT.
James: WELL, IT DOESN'T HELP
THE COMMUNICATION.
Amy: BECAUSE ULTIMATELY
YOU WANT A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.
Steven: BUT SEE THERE,
PROVERBS AGAIN,
PROVERBS SAYS THAT
HARSH WORDS STIR UP ANGER
BUT SOFT WORDS DE-ESCALATE.
I TAUGHT THAT TO MY CHILDREN
WHEN THEY WERE JUST LITTLE.
YOU WOULD HEAR
THE VOLUME GO UP,
THEY WOULD BE FIGHTING,
AND I'D COME IN
AND TALK SOFTLY.
AND THEY WOULD HAVE TO STOP
TALKING JUST TO HEAR DAD.
THEN I TAUGHT THE PRINCIPLE
AND THEY KNOW HOW
TO DE-ESCALATE ANY ARGUMENT.
THAT'S JUST ONE!
THERE ARE 30 PROVERBS --
30 ON COMMUNICATION.
HE ANSWERS EVERY PROBLEM AND
THEN WE HAD THE TECHNIQUES
SO YOU CAN GO AHEAD.
SO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
IS YOU WANT BETTY
TO ALWAYS FEEL HONORED.
SHE WANTS YOU TO ALWAYS
FEEL ADMIRED AND RESPECTED.
WELL, COMMUNICATION
TEARS THAT DOWN IN 30 SECONDS
-- NOT EVEN 30
-- A SINGLE WORD
CAN TEAR THAT DOWN.
Amy: A TONE!
Steven: SO ONCE AGAIN
WE GET INTO ALL OF THAT.
OF COURSE,
THE TECHNIQUES WERE SUPPLIED
BY POPPY
BUT ALL THE WISDOM BEHIND IT
IS FROM THE BOOK OF PROVERBS.
Betty: DON'T YOU THINK
THIS IS AN ONGOING THING
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
IT IS NOT SOMETHING
THAT YOU DO,
THAT YOU ARRIVE AT AND THEN
EVERYTHING COMES UP ROSES
ALL THE TIME.
YOU HAVE TO WORK ON IT
EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
Amy: I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS
HAVE AT -- YOU'RE AT
A DIFFERENT STAGE NOW.
YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T HAVE
THAT ARGUMENT ABOUT VOLUME
20 YEARS AGO
BUT IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE.
AND WHATEVER IT IS,
IT IS ABOUT --
BUT YOU LOVE AND YOU RESPECT
AND YOU HONOR EACH OTHER.
AND YOU WANT YOUR SPEECH,
YOU WANT TO GO, AAH!!
SO WHEN YOU SAID IT
IN A TONE, YOU'RE LIKE,
"OH THAT PROBABLY DID.
YEAH, I WAS FRUSTRATED IN
THAT MOMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE
NOT WEARING YOUR HEARING AIDS"
RIGHT? IF HE WOULD JUST WEAR
HIS HEARING AIDS AT HOME THEN
I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.
James: WELL, SHE THINKS THAT.
Amy: BUT YOU CAN
UNDERSTAND THAT.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
BUT THEN
YOU CAN ALSO UNDERSTAND,
I UNDERSTAND I DON'T WANT
HIS EARS TO ITCH ALL DAY
OR WHATEVER.
I DON'T WANT HIM TO FEEL
LIKE HE HAS TO --
SO YOU GIVE EACH OTHER GRACE
AND WHEN YOU HAVE THAT
AND YOU MAKE ALLOWANCES
FOR ONE ANOTHER,
WHEN YOU DO THAT, IT JUST
MAKES EACH OTHER GO, AAH!
THEN IT IS A COMFORTABLE HOME.
James: BETTY AND I HAVE
SO MUCH FUN WORKING
THROUGH OUR CHALLENGES.
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
"YOU'VE GOT THIS WORD POWER.
YOU'RE JUST REALLY CRAFTY."
SHE SAID, "YOU HAVE LEARNED
HOW TO APOLOGIZE
IN SUCH A WAY
AS TO MAKE ME FEEL
LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT."
NOW THAT'S AN ART FORM,
ISN'T IT BETTY?
THAT'S AN ART FORM.
AND THE FIRST TIME
SHE TOLD ME THAT, I THOUGHT,
MAN, I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS DOING THAT
BUT I THINK MAYBE THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING.
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE
IN SUCH A WAY
AS TO MAKE HER FEEL
LIKE IT IS HER FAULT.
SEE, HERE'S THE DEAL THOUGH.
WHAT'S THE UNIQUENESS
OF EVEN TELLING YOU THAT?
THAT'S PART OF GROWING
IN THE GRACE AND KNOWLEDGE
OF THE LORD THAT WE CAN
ACTUALLY LOOK AT THAT,
GO AHEAD AND ACKNOWLEDGE IT,
EVEN IF IT WAS NONSENSE,
FOOLISH OR DELIBERATE
AND WE LAUGH ABOUT IT
BECAUSE THAT'S NOT
WHAT AN APOLOGY IS.
AN APOLOGY IS NOT
TO PUT BLAME
ON THE OTHER PERSON.
IT IS NOT EVEN
TO JUST STAND HERE
AND BLAME EACH OTHER.
IT IS TO LET THE ONE
WHO TOOK THE SHAME
AND THE BLAME WHO BORE IT
TO GET IT OFF OF US,
LET'S QUIT PUTTING IT
BACK ON OURSELVES
AND ON EACH OTHER.
WOULD YOU CALL THIS
COMMUNICATION, STEVE?
Steven: ABSOLUTELY!
THAT'S THE HEART
OF COMMUNICATION
BUT SEE, YOU GUYS
HAVE LEARNED SOME SKILL SETS
JUST THROUGH TRIAL AND ERROR
THAT WORK FOR YOU.
WE WANT TO HELP PEOPLE
TO AVOID THE TRIAL AND ERROR
AND GIVE THEM THE SKILL SETS
THAT GARY GAVE ME.
James: ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE OFFERING THIS
TO EVERY PERSON
WHO WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT,
WHO WILL DO SOMETHING.
WHO WILL DO SOMETHING
THAT'S VERY, VERY IMPORTANT
AND THAT'S TOUCH SOMEONE
WITH THE LOVE WE HAVE,
THE LOVE OF GOD.
WOULD YOU ALL
JUST SAY THANKS TO AMY
AND THANKS TO STEVE SCOTT
FOR BEING A BLESSING
TO US HERE ON LIFE TODAY?
[Cheers & applause]
I WANT TO SHOW ALL OF YOU,
LISTEN TO ME; SHEILA WALSH
IS ANOINTED AND GIFTED BY GOD.
"ANOINTED" IS AN ENABLING
BY GOD, A DIVINE ENABLING;
SHE CAN COMMUNICATE.
BUT HERE'S WHAT
I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
SHE'S NOT JUST COMMUNICATING
A WOMAN'S HEART,
NOT EVEN A MOTHER'S HEART,
SHE IS COMMUNICATING
GOD'S HEART.
NOW LISTEN TO ME.
SHE IS GOING TO TALK
ABOUT MOTHERS,
SHE IS GOING TO TALK
ABOUT LOVE,
BUT PLEASE GET THIS.
WHAT SHE IS
REALLY COMMUNICATING
AND I DON'T WANT YOU
TO MISS IT,
SHE IS COMMUNICATING MORE
THAN THE HEART OF A MOTHER,
SHE IS NOT ONLY COMMUNICATING
THE HEART OF A FATHER
BUT THE FATHER
AND THE LORD JESUS.
NOW I WANT YOU TO HEAR IT
AND THEN I WANT YOU
TO JUST RESPOND
AS THE HOLY SPIRIT
THAT'S IN YOU AS A BELIEVER,
I THINK THAT'S EVEN IN YOU
AS A HUMAN BEING
CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD.
YOU RESPOND. WATCH CLOSELY.
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
Announcer: DEATH DUE TO
MALNUTRITION IS WHY SO MANY
OF THESE SMALL GRAVES ARE
DUG DAILY AT THIS CEMETERY
IN A PLACE
CALLED CATUMBELA.
IT IS IN VILLAGES LIKE THESE
WHERE THE DEATH CYCLE
STARTS OFF AS
SIMPLE HUNGER PAINS.
EACH DAY MOTHERS STRUGGLE
TO FIND ENOUGH FOOD
FOR THEIR CHILDREN, ALL THE
WHILE HOPING AND PRAYING
THAT THEIR CHILDREN
WON'T BE NEXT TO SUCCUMB
TO THE RAVAGES
OF STARVATION.
ON A RECENT TRIP TO ANGOLA,
LIFE'S MISSION TEAM MEMBER,
SHEILA WALSH
WITNESSED FIRSTHAND
THE DEVASTATING TOLL
OF MALNUTRITION.
Sheila: THIS IS MARIA.
SHE IS LIKE ME. SHE IS A MOM.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT
MARIA WAS BORN IN ANGOLA
AND HER LITTLE BABY GIRL,
MARIA WAS BORN IN ANGOLA
AT THIS TIME WHEN THERE IS
SUCH A CRISIS GOING ON.
YOU'RE NEVER GOING
TO BELIEVE IT BUT
THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL
WHO WEIGHS SIX POUNDS
IS ONE YEAR
AND SEVEN MONTHS OLD
-- A YEAR AND SEVEN MONTHS
AND SHE WEIGHS SIX POUNDS.
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU CAN --
DARLING, I DON'T WANT TO HURT
YOU BUT CAN YOU SEE HER SKIN?
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THIS
BEFORE I GOT HERE BUT
WITH SEVERE MALNUTRITION
THE FIRST ORGAN TO SHUT DOWN
IS THE SKIN.
IT IS AS IF ALL THE RESERVES
GO TO TRY AND PROTECT
WHAT'S LEFT INSIDE.
SO AS YOU CAN SEE, HER SKIN
HAS BEGUN TO LITERALLY
PEEL OFF
HER BODY.
JAMES AND BETTY, YOU HAVE
SAT HERE OVER AND OVER
AND OVER
THROUGH THE YEARS
FAITHFULLY SERVING
AND FEEDING MILLIONS
BUT I KNOW YOU'LL SEE THIS.
THIS IS A FRESH CRISIS.
THIS IS A FRESH URGENCY.
THIS WILL NOT WAIT.
WE TALK ABOUT LIFE
WHERE IT IS NEEDED MOST;
WHERE IT IS NEEDED MOST
IS RIGHT HERE.
BUT EVEN MORE THAN THAT,
WHERE IT IS NEEDED MOST
IS IN THE VILLAGES WHERE
THESE DARLING CHILDREN LIVE.
THEY NEED OUR HELP
AND THEY NEED IT NOW.
[Child Crying]
James: WOW! AND SHEILA, YOU
ARE JUST SUCH A PRECIOUS GIFT.
SHEILA, WE LOVE YOU!
THANK YOU FOR HELPING US
AT LIFE AND LIFE OUTREACH,
LIFE TODAY
SHARE THE LOVE OF JESUS.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL
TO WATCH IT IN YOU.
YES, BETTY AND I HAVE
BEEN THERE; 50 YEARS
I'VE BEEN TRAVELING
TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
TO PROCLAIM THE GOSPEL;
25 YEARS
WE'VE MARCHED INTO HELL
FOR A HEAVENLY CAUSE;
THAT'S WHAT WE'VE DONE
WITH THE MISSION FIELDS.
NOW THEN TO HAVE SOMEONE
LIKE SHEILA AND OTHERS
THAT ARE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE
THAT IS SUCH
AN INCREDIBLE BLESSING
BECAUSE SHE IS AFFIRMING
WHAT WE'VE TOLD YOU FOR YEARS.
SHE ALSO GETS TO SEE
THE POWER OF LOVE WORKING.
BETTY, WHEN YOU LISTEN
TO SHEILA THERE
AND YOU SEE THAT LITTLE GIRL,
I WOULD LIKE US TO KIND OF
PUT HER LITTLE FACE BACK UP
JUST REAL CLOSE AND JUST LOOK
AT THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE CHILD
AND THE SKIN
IS JUST LITERALLY DYING.
AND THEN SHE IS SO PRECIOUS
AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT ANYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT
BUT THAT LITTLE GIRL
COULD HAVE A LIFE AND SOME DAY
HAVE HER OWN LITTLE GIRL
AND HAVE A MARRIAGE
AND HAVE THE JOYS
THAT WE'VE EXPERIENCED.
I WANT IT FOR THEM.
I WANT IT. SHEILA WANTS IT.
AND THE MISSIONARIES WANT IT.
I BELIEVE YOU WANT IT.
BUT HERE'S THE DEAL,
WE CAN GIVE IT TO HER.
BETTY, OUR VIEWERS CAN GIVE
THAT LITTLE GIRL A FUTURE.
Betty: ABSOLUTELY!
WE'VE JUST SHOWN YOU
WHAT REAL HUNGER LOOKS LIKE.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HUNGRY?
MAYBE YOU GOT UP EARLY
ONE MORNING
AND YOU SKIPPED BREAKFAST,
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME.
BUT BOY, BY NOONTIME
YOU THINK, MAN,
I'M GETTING KIND OF HUNGRY.
SO YOU STOP,
GO GRAB YOU A BITE TO EAT
OR YOU GO BACK HOME
AND GET SOMETHING
OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR.
OH I FEEL BETTER!
I GOT TO EAT SOMETHING.
CAN YOU IMAGINE --
THAT'S NOT HUNGER.
THIS IS HUNGER.
THEY GO DAYS AND WEEKS
WITHOUT FOOD.
THESE PRECIOUS CHILDREN
NEVER HAVE A CHANCE AT LIFE
BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ABLE
TO EAT AT LEAST ONE MEAL A DAY
WHEN WE USUALLY EAT
THREE MEALS A DAY.
I HOPE YOUR HEART'S
BEEN TOUCHED
BY WHAT YOU JUST SAW;
SHEILA OUT THERE ON THE FIELD,
SHE KNOWS WHAT IT IS LIKE.
SHE'S BEEN THERE
JUST LIKE WE HAVE.
I WANT YOU TO LET GOD SHOW
YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP
THESE PRECIOUS CHILDREN.
THEY'RE WORTH IT!
YOU HAVE CHILDREN;
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU CAN DO FOR THEM
FROM YOUR HEART IS WORTH IT.
YOU GIVE EVERYTHING FOR THEM.
WELL, WE NEED TO GIVE
WHAT WE CAN GIVE
TO HELP THESE CHILDREN.
PLEASE JOIN WITH US.
LET'S GIVE THEM A LONG LIFE.
James: WE CAN DO IT.
WE'VE SAVED THE LIVES
OF WAY OVER 10 MILLION
LITTLE CHILDREN LIKE THAT.
MOST OF THEM WE'RE ABLE
TO GET TO
IN THE FEEDING CENTERS
WHERE WE HAVE SET UP WITH
THE MISSIONARIES DIRECTION
RIGHT ON THE SITE
RIGHT NOW TO FEED
OVER 400,000 MALNOURISHED.
THAT'S ONE OF
THE EXTREME CASES
YOU SAW THERE.
THE FEEDING KEEPS THEM
FROM GETTING THERE
BUT YOUR LOVE ALSO PROVIDES
FOR THAT LAST DITCH EFFORT,
YOU MIGHT SAY TO SAVE THEM --
AND SO OFTEN, IT WORKS.
IF YOU CAN GIVE $100 TO FEED
TEN CHILDREN LIKE THAT,
WOULD YOU DO IT RIGHT NOW
PLEASE?
$50 OR $30
FOR FIVE OR FOR THREE?
KEEP THIS IN MIND
BECAUSE WE'RE REALLY BLESSED
IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD
WHERE WE CAN DO EVEN MORE
THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.
$1,000 FEEDS 100 KIDS
FOR THE NEXT MONTHS.
COULD YOU DO THAT?
WE HAVE SPECIAL GIFTS
TO SEND YOU.
FOR ANY GIFT WE'RE SENDING YOU
THE VERY FIRST LESSON
ON COMMUNICATION
WITH THE STUDY GUIDE,
AND THEN THE OTHER LESSONS
IF YOU'LL MAKE A GIFT
OF $100 OR MORE.
WE'LL SEND YOU
THE BEAUTIFUL CANVAS
IF YOU MAKE A GIFT
OF $1,000 OR MORE.
SOME OF YOU CAN DO IT.
YOU'LL BE GLAD TO DO IT.
AND YOU'LL ALSO GET
THE PROVERBS POWER TEACHING.
WOULD YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW?
THANK YOU
FOR MAKING THAT CALL.
THANK YOU
FOR MAKING THAT GIFT!
Announcer: IN IMPOVERISHED
AND DROUGHT-STRICKEN AREAS
OF AFRICA
CHILDREN
ARE SUFFERING.
THE NEED IS GREAT
AND WITHOUT FOOD
THEY FACE SEVERE
MALNUTRITION --
EVEN DEATH.
WITH YOUR SUPPORT
LIFE'S MISSION FEEDING
OUTREACH CAN SAVE LIVES
BY FEEDING AND CARING
FOR CHILDREN
IN THE HARDEST HIT AREAS
OF ANGOLA, MOZAMBIQUE,
AND SOUTH SUDAN.
WITH PREVIOUS
RESERVES GONE
AND MISSION FEEDING
HELPING IN AREAS WITH
SEVERE CROP FAILURE
WE URGENTLY NEED TO
REPLENISH OUR FOOD SUPPLIES
TO REACH 400,000 CHILDREN
WHO ARE COUNTING ON US.
YOUR LIFESAVING GIFT
OF $30, $50, OR $100
WILL HELP FEED AND CARE FOR THREE, FIVE OR TEN CHILDREN
FOR THREE
FULL MONTHS.
AND WITH YOUR GIFT
OF ANY AMOUNT,
WE'LL SEND YOU PROVERBS POWER:
SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION.
THIS POWERFUL CD SERIES,
ALONG WITH STUDY GUIDE
FEATURING
STEVEN K. SCOTT
UNVEILS THE SECRETS
TO INCREDIBLE WISDOM
FOUND ONLY IN
THE BOOK OF PROVERBS.
THIS SERIES WILL
GIVE YOU THE TOOLS
TO TRANSFORM YOUR
RELATIONSHIPS IN LIFE.
WITH YOUR GIFT
OF $100 OR MORE,
REQUEST THE COMPLETE
PROVERBS POWER LIBRARY
FEATURING FIVE
POWER-PACKED SESSIONS
THAT INCLUDE:
"THE POWER OF VISION,"
"BREAKING THROUGH MEDIOCRITY,"
AND MUCH MORE.
FINALLY, WITH YOUR GIFT
OF $1,000 OR MORE
TO HELP FEED AND CARE
FOR 100 CHILDREN,
BE SURE TO REQUEST
THE "BRIDGE OF FAITH"
FRAMED CANVAS PRINT
BY THOMAS KINKADE.
PLEASE CALL, WRITE, OR MAKE
YOUR SECURE GIFT ONLINE TODAY.
James: PROVERBS POWER,
THE STUDY GUIDE,
ALL OF THE OTHER LESSONS
THAT ARE HERE,
THAT WILL BE SUCH A BLESSING
TO YOU AND THEY'RE ON AUDIO.
SO HAPPY TO SEND THEM TO YOU.
STEVE'S GOING TO BE WITH US
IN ANOTHER PROGRAM
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR
FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO LEARNED
THE POWER OF PROVERBS
EVEN AS HE SHARED IT.
WOULD YOU THANK AMY AND STEVE
FOR BEING A BLESSING
TO US TODAY ON LIFE TODAY?
THANK YOU BOTH.
AND YOU BOTH COMMUNICATE
VERY, VERY WELL!
THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS
EVERYTHING YOU DO
FOR HIS GLORY AND HE WILL.
♪
♪
♪
Announcer: WHEN PLANNING
YOUR FUTURE,
KEEP THEIR FUTURE
IN MIND.
CONTACT LIFE PLANNING
SERVICES TODAY.
>> LIFE TODAY IS MADE
POSSIBLE BY THE SUPPORTERS OF
LIFE OUTREACH INTERNATIONAL.
YOUR GIFT WILL BE USED EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE EXEMPT PURPOSES OF LIFE.
THE MINISTRY FEATURES
SPECIFIC OUTREACHES
AS EXAMPLES OF THE PROGRAMS
IT SUPPORTS AND CONDUCTS.
GIFTS ARE CONSIDERED
TO BE WITHOUT RESTRICTION
AS TO USE UNLESS EXPLICITLY
STIPULATED BY THE DONOR.
THE MINISTRY IS A MEMBER
OF THE E.C.F.A.