Announcer: ON THIS SPECIAL DAY
JONATHAN AND WYNTER PITTS
OFFER PRACTICAL ADVICE
AND ENCOURAGEMENT.
>> BEING INTENTIONAL
ABOUT OUR DEVOTIONAL TIME
OR BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
OUR QUALITY TIME WITH THEM,
BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
OUR QUALITY TIME WITH GOD;
SO AS WE TALK ABOUT
ALL THOSE THINGS, IN THE END,
THERE IS A PRAYER BECAUSE
WE KNOW WE CAN ONLY
DO IT SO MUCH
AND WE HAVE TO JUST SAY,
"LORD, I'M YOURS
AND SO ARE THEY."
Announcer: GROWING
YOUR CHILD'S RELATIONSHIPS
WITH GOD, PARENTS, AND
THE WORLD AROUND THEM.
NEXT ON LIFE TODAY!
♪
Randy: WELCOME TO LIFE TODAY!
WE'RE SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU,
ESPECIALLY IN THIS SEASON
OF FAMILY.
SOMETIMES SHEILA,
THAT IS A LITTLE TOUGH.
IT'S A GOOD THING
OR A BAD THING BUT
IT IS PART OF THE DEAL.
WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
A LITTLE BIT OF FAMILY TODAY.
WE HAVE JONATHAN AND WYNTER
PITTS ON AND THEY ARE THE
AUTHORS OF THE BOOK CALLED,
SHE IS YOURS,
WHICH IS TALKING ABOUT
RAISING DAUGHTERS,
NOT JUST ANY DAUGHTERS,
SECURE, GODLY DAUGHTERS.
WOULD YOU WELCOME JONATHAN
AND WYNTER TO LIFE TODAY?
[Applause]
THEY'RE NOT ALONE BECAUSE
THE SUBJECTS, THE ONES THAT
PROVIDED YOU ALL OF THE FODDER
FOR THIS FINE BOOK,
THEY'RE HERE.
DO YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE
YOUR CHILDREN?
Jonathan: SURE! I'LL DO THAT.
Sheila: CAN YOU STAND UP
SO WE CAN REALLY SEE
YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACES?
TA-DA!
Jonathan: SO ALENA,
THE OLDEST IS 13,
AND THEN OLIVIA NEXT TO HER
IS EIGHT AND HAS A TWIN SISTER
ON THE END NAMED CAMRYN.
THAT'S KAITLYN IN THE
POLKA DOT SHIRT THERE.
Sheila: WELCOME GIRLS!
GREAT TO HAVE YOU WITH US.
[Applause]
SO WHEN YOU'RE WRITING BOOKS
ABOUT RAISING DAUGHTERS
DO YOU HAVE TO RUN
YOUR MATERIAL BY THEM,
FIRST OF ALL?
Wynter: THEY GET THE MATERIAL
FIRST AND THEN WE'RE LIKE,
OH, WE CAN DO THAT BECAUSE
WE JUST DID THAT.
Randy: WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE
TAUGHT MY DAD THAT BECAUSE
I GO BACK AND I READ HIS BOOKS
AND THERE IS MY CHILDHOOD.
AND I WAS NEVER
ASKED PERMISSION.
[Laughter]
Sheila: YOU TELL A VERY
FUNNY STORY IN THE BOOK ABOUT,
WHEN WE GET MARRIED
WE OFTEN HAVE PLANS OF
I'LL WAIT FIVE YEARS AND
THEN I MIGHT START A FAMILY.
BUT YOUR FIRST ARRIVAL WAS
A LITTLE BIT OF A SURPRISE.
BUT DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED
WHEN YOU DECIDED TO SHARE
THE WONDERFUL NEWS
WITH YOUR HUSBAND.
Wynter: YES, SO WE THOUGHT
-- WE GOT MARRIED RIGHT OUT
OF COLLEGE AND WE THOUGHT,
THAT'S FINE BUT WE'LL WAIT
TO START A FAMILY.
WE HAD A FIVE-YEAR PLAN.
IT'S ABOUT TWO WEEKS
AFTER WE GOT BACK FROM
OUR HONEYMOON, WELL, PROBABLY
ABOUT A MONTH LATER
I KIND OF REALIZED,
I THINK I'M PREGNANT.
SO I CALLED JONATHAN
AND MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT.
AND JUST AS A NEW WIFE,
JUST EXCITED TO TELL HIM,
I'M LIKE, "BABE!"
SOMEBODY HAD A DREAM AND
I WAS LIKE, "I TOOK A TEST
AND I'M PREGNANT."
HE WAS LIKE, "WHAT? YOU ARE?
OKAY, WELL, I'M GOING TO GO
FINISH MY ROUND."
HE WAS GOLFING.
SO HE WANTED TO FINISH.
Sheila: FINISH A ROUND?
Randy: WHAT DID YOU SHOOT
AFTER THAT?
Jonathan: NOT VERY WELL.
I JUST WANTED TO FINISH
MY ROUND OF GOLF.
I WAS NEW.
Wynter: I DON'T THINK
HE'S FINISHED A ROUND SINCE,
ACTUALLY.
[Laughter]
Sheila: TELL US A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT -- I FIND IT INTERESTING
THAT YOU'VE WRITTEN
THESE GREAT BOOKS FOR,
WHAT I CONSIDER AN AREA
OF THE MARKET THAT
THERE'S REALLY NOT
A LOT OF BOOKS AVAILABLE.
I WRITE BOOKS FOR LITTLE GIRLS
AND THERE ARE SOME GOOD BOOKS
FOR OLDER TEENS BUT
YOU'RE WRITING SOME REALLY
GREAT STUFF FOR THOSE
KIND OF "TWEEN YEARS."
BUT TELL US A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT YOUR OWN STORY
OF GROWING UP BECAUSE
IT WASN'T THE KIND OF WORLD
THAT YOU DESCRIBE
FOR YOUR OWN DAUGHTERS.
Wynter: NO, IT WASN'T.
I GREW UP IN THE INNER CITY
IN BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
WITH A SINGLE MOM,
WITH MY GRAND MOM,
RAISED MY BROTHER AND I.
THERE WAS ALWAYS FAITH.
WHEN YOU'RE IN THAT
SORT OF SITUATION WHERE
THERE WEREN'T A LOT
OF RESOURCES, MATERIAL
RESOURCES BUT WE ALWAYS
HAD OUR FAITH.
REGARDLESS OF ALL THE DETAILS
THAT WERE HAPPENING OUTSIDE,
JUST DRUG INFESTED AND CRIME,
JUST IN THE HEART OF THE CITY;
WE WERE IN THE HEART
OF ALL THAT.
BUT INSIDE OF OUR WALLS
WE WERE PRAYING.
MY MOM WAS BRINGING US
TOGETHER AND SHE WAS
ON HER KNEES AND MY GRAND MOM
WAS ON HER KNEES IN
THE MIDST OF ALL OF THAT
THAT WAS HAPPENING AROUND US.
THEY JUST SURROUNDED US
AND COVERED US
IN PRAYER AND FAITH.
Randy: WHAT DID THAT TEACH YOU
ABOUT THE POWER OF PRAYER
EVEN IN A TOUGH SITUATION?
Wynter: IT IS NOT UNTIL NOW
THAT I CAN GO BACK AND SAY
THE FACT THAT I'M WRITING...
I ALWAYS SAY EVERY STATISTIC
WAS AGAINST ME.
MY DAD WAS ADDICTED TO DRUGS.
WE'RE IN THE CITY,
IN BALTIMORE; MY MOM,
RAISED BY MY GRANDMOTHER,
EVERYTHING WAS AGAINST ME.
AND THE FACT THAT
I'M SITTING HERE NOW WITH
MY HUSBAND AND MY FOUR GIRLS
AND HAVE RESOURCES FOR GIRLS,
IT JUST GOES BACK
AND I CAN REMEMBER THEIR
PRAYERS AND THEM PRAYING.
AT THE TIME I DIDN'T.
IT JUST WAS WHAT WE DID
AND WE PRAYED BEFORE
WE LEFT THE HOUSE
AND OFTENTIMES IT WAS
MORE ANNOYING THAN IT WAS
ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE
I WANTED TO GO DO
SOMETHING ELSE.
BUT NOW I SEE GOD ANSWERED
THOSE PRAYERS AND HAS
ANSWERED THEM IN WAYS
THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW
THAT THEY REALIZED WHEN
THEY WERE PRAYING THEM.
THEY WERE PRAYING FOR
SAFETY AND THAT GOD'S HAND
WOULD BE ON OUR LIVES
AND THAT WE WOULD KNOW HIM.
AND THAT IMPACT, GOD HAS
TAKEN THAT AND BEEN ABLE
TO USE THAT WAY BEYOND
ANYTHING THAT THEY WOULD
HAVE THOUGHT.
Sheila: I THINK THAT'S GOT TO
BE A TREMENDOUS ENCOURAGEMENT
TO MOMS OUT THERE WHO
ARE RAISING THEIR CHILDREN
BY THEMSELVES.
I WAS A RAISED BY A MOM
WHO RAISED THREE OF US AND
A LOT OF STATISTICS AGAINST.
BUT THERE IS SOMETHING
THAT OUR CULTURE DOESN'T
CONSIDER AND THAT IS
THE POWER OF A PRAYING MOM.
Randy: SO HOW DID YOU TWO
GET TOGETHER?
WHEN DID HE COME
INTO THE STORY?
Jonathan: WE ACTUALLY MET
IN COLLEGE.
SHE WAS JUST A GIRL ON CAMPUS.
I REMEMBER SEEING HER;
I WAS IN A FIVE-YEAR PROGRAM.
IN MY THIRD YEAR I REMEMBER
SEEING HER ON CAMPUS
AND THINKING THAT GIRL
LOOKS REALLY STUCK UP.
[Laughter]
BUT SHE WAS CARRYING HERSELF
WITH CLASS AND
IT JUST STRUCK ME.
I ACTUALLY WAS INTRODUCED
TO HER BY A FRIEND
AT A PARTY ONE TIME
AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
SO I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER
AND BEEN TOGETHER
EVER SINCE, 14 YEARS.
Sheila: DIDN'T YOU HAVE
ALL OF YOUR CHILDREN WITHIN
THE FIRST LIKE FIVE YEARS?
Wynter: THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS
SAY, "WITHIN FIVE YEARS
WE WERE SURROUNDED
BY FOUR GIRLS."
Jonathan: THREE IN DIAPERS.
Sheila: WHAT WAS YOUR
BACKGROUND LIKE, JONATHAN?
WHAT DID YOU -- WERE YOU
RAISED IN A DIFFERENT SORT
OF A HOME?
Jonathan: INTERESTING,
I WAS RAISED IN SOUTH JERSEY
IN A VERY RURAL COMMUNITY.
MY MOM IS GERMAN,
MY DAD IS AFRICAN AMERICAN
AND WE GREW UP IN NOT
THE GREATEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES
BUT WE ALWAYS HAD
WHAT WE NEEDED AND
GOD ALWAYS PROVIDED.
BUT A LOVING HOME;
MY PARENTS LOVE THE LORD,
THEY FEAR THE LORD
AND THEY TAUGHT US
TO DO THE SAME.
I ALWAYS SAY THAT
MY TESTIMONY IS THAT I TASTED
AND SAW THAT GOD WAS GOOD.
THE BIBLE SAYS, "TASTE
AND SEE THE LORD IS GOOD."
SO I TASTED IT.
ANYTHING ELSE AS I AGED UP
AND STARTED EXPERIMENTING
WITH DIFFERENT THINGS
JUST TASTED BITTER AND
GOD WAS ALWAYS BETTER.
THAT'S MY TESTIMONY.
Randy: TELL US A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT WHAT YOU TWO GUYS ARE
BRINGING TO THE REST OF US
IN YOUR BOOK, SHE IS YOURS;
SOME OF THE LESSONS THAT
YOU HAVE LEARNED OR
ARE LEARNING AS THEY UNFOLD.
Jonathan: I WOULD SAY FIRST
OF ALL, THE BOOK IS BROKEN
DOWN INTO THREE SECTIONS.
IT TALKS ABOUT
HER RELATIONSHIP WITH
THE LORD, TALKING ABOUT
YOUR DAUGHTER'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE LORD;
HER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU,
AS HER PARENT,
AND HER RELATIONSHIP WITH
THE WORLD AROUND HER.
REALLY, THE CORE OF WHAT
WE'RE TRYING TO DO IS HELP
PARENTS UNDERSTAND OF GIRLS
OBVIOUSLY, BUT OF PARENTS
IN GENERAL THAT GOD WANTS
TO HAVE A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR DAUGHTER
AND TO THE DEGREE THAT
THEY SEE CHRIST IN YOU WILL
BE TO THE DEGREE THAT
THEY ARE ACTUALLY SET UP WELL
TO KNOW AND LOVE THE LORD;
AND HOPEFULLY, PUTS OTHER
PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES
AS WELL AND HE WILL.
THAT YOU ARE A LARGE PART
OF THE LORD'S TESTIMONY
IN THEIR LIVES AND YOU CAN BE.
Randy: SO THOSE THREE THINGS
YOU MENTIONED ARE OFTENTIMES,
THERE'S SOME TENSION THERE.
THE WORLD IS DRAGGING ONE WAY
AND WE'RE TRYING TO JUST
MAINTAIN THAT RELATIONSHIP
THIS WAY AND WE'RE HOPING AND
PRAYING THAT THEY WILL HAVE
THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.
HOW DO WE BALANCE THOSE ALL?
HOW DO WE LIVE THEIR LIVES
FOR THEM AND I KNOW
WE CAN'T, RIGHT?
BUT HOW DO WE GET ALL
THOSE THREE THINGS GOING
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?
Wynter: I THINK WE'RE BOTH
EXCITED ABOUT THAT ONE
BECAUSE I THINK THAT
IS THE HEART OF THE BOOK,
SHE IS YOURS AND
JUST BELIEVING AND TRUSTING
AND KNOWING THAT GOD GAVE US
THESE GIRLS SO CLEARLY,
THEY'RE OURS, HE GAVE THEM
TO US BUT HE GAVE THEM TO US
-- THEY ARE HIS.
THEY ARE A GIFT FROM HIM.
SO IN ALL THOSE AREAS,
IF WE LOOK AT ANYTHING,
HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM,
HER RELATIONSHIP WITH
THE WORLD, ANYTHING -- YOU CAN
BE DISCOURAGED, YOU CAN FEEL
HOPELESS, AND KIND OF OUT
OF CONTROL IN THOSE
THREE AREAS BECAUSE
THEY'RE PRETTY BIG
AND INTENSE AREAS.
BUT WHEN WE LOOK AT IT THROUGH
THE EYES OF SEEING THEM
AS A GIFT FROM HIM,
THEN IT ALLOWS US TO RELAX
IN THAT BECAUSE WHAT
WE NEED TO DO IS NOT CONTROL
THOSE AREAS BUT WE NEED
TO FOCUS ON REACHING OUT
TO HIM FOR HOW HE WANTS
TO RULE THOSE AREAS
IN THEIR LIVES.
SO THAT'S THE HEART OF
THE BOOK IS THAT EVEN IN
THOSE SECTIONS, AS WE TALK
ABOUT HOW WE'RE JOURNEYING
THROUGH THOSE THINGS
AND PRACTICALLY WHAT
THAT LOOKS LIKE WITH
FOUR GIRLS, AT ONE POINT
ALL UNDER THE AGE OF FIVE,
BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
OUR DEVOTIONAL TIME,
OR BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
OUR QUALITY TIME WITH THEM,
BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
OUR QUALITY TIME WITH GOD.
SO AS WE TALK ABOUT
ALL THOSE THINGS IN THE END,
THERE IS A PRAYER BECAUSE
WE KNOW THAT WE CAN ONLY DO
SO MUCH AND WE HAVE
TO JUST SAY, "LORD,
I'M YOURS -- SO ARE THEY.
SO HERE'S WHAT
WE HAVE TO OFFER.
WE TRUST YOU TO DO THE REST."
Randy: JONATHAN, YOU MAKE
A POINT OF THAT.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN GOOD INTENTIONS
AND INTENTIONALITY.
Jonathan: I THINK MOST OF US
HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS BUT
THE REALITY IS THAT
INTENTIONALITY TAKES A LOT
OF HARD WORK
AND ON MOST DAYS...
MY WIFE WAS JUST AT
A CONFERENCE THIS WEEKEND.
TO BE AN INTENTIONAL FATHER,
IT IS EASIER TO CHECK OUT,
TO HOLD MY EAR BUDS IN
AND LISTEN TO SOME TALK RADIO
AS I DO THE DISHES.
BUT TO BE INTENTIONAL MEANS
TO DIG INTO THEIR LIVES,
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THEIR WORLD.
IT'S IN THAT UNDERSTANDING,
DIGGING INTO THEIR WORLD,
WE REALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE
THEY ARE, WE UNDERSTAND
HOW GOD'S MADE THEM,
THEIR PERSONALITIES,
WHICH IS VERY DIFFERENT FOR
FOUR DIFFERENT GIRLS --
FIVE DIFFERENT GIRLS.
BUT YEAH, INTENTIONALITY
IS A LOT OF HARD WORK BUT
IT COMES WITH GREAT RESULTS,
I BELIEVE.
Sheila: WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT
YOUR GIRLS' RELATIONSHIP
WITH GOD, YOU USE A REALLY
HELPFUL ILLUSTRATION.
YOU TALK ABOUT PEDIATRICIANS
SAYING, "YOU CAN'T MAKE
YOUR KIDS EAT GOOD FOOD
BUT YOU CAN PROVIDE THEM
WITH A LOT OF GOOD CHOICES."
THAT THAT'S THE SAME
IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP
WITH GOD; YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM
LOVE GOD BUT YOU CAN
CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE.
TALK TO PARENTS OF YOUNG
KIDS WHO AT THE MOMENT ARE
THINKING, HOW DO I DO THAT
IN THIS CRAZY WORLD?
HOW DO I MAKE MY CHILDREN
UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS
NOT SOMETHING THEY HAVE
TO DO BUT THIS IS
THIS GLORIOUS INVITATION
FROM A LOVING FATHER?
Wynter: WELL, I'LL LET
JONATHAN ANSWER PRACTICALLY
THE THINGS THAT WE HAVE DONE.
BUT I WILL SAY JUST TO START
OFF IS THAT WE SAY THAT
BUT WE SAY THAT FULLY
UNDERSTANDING THAT
IT IS MESSY, AND IT IS NOT
CONVENIENT AND IT IS TIMES
WHERE WE ARE,
IT IS NOT PRETTY, IT IS NOT
THIS BEAUTIFUL WORSHIP SERVICE
AT OUR KITCHEN TABLE.
BUT IT IS "SIT DOWN"
AND "COME HERE" AND
"NO, DON'T FEED THE DOG THAT."
AND "LISTEN, WE'RE TRYING
TO READ THE BIBLE."
SO THERE'S ALL OF THAT.
BUT IT JUST STILL TAKES US
BEING PRESENT IN DOING THAT.
Jonathan: YEAH, I WOULD SAY
THE BIGGEST THING, AND FOR ME,
I HAD TO DO THIS LAST NIGHT.
I HAD TO SIT DOWN WITH ONE
OF MY DAUGHTERS AND LITERALLY
APOLOGIZE TO HER
AND OWN MY MISTAKES.
SO A LOT OF TIMES WHAT
CHRIST-LIKENESS LOOKS LIKE
IS ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS
OURSELVES AND OWNING
OUR OWN MISTAKES.
I REALLY THINK THAT'S WHERE
THE GOSPEL IS TRULY EXPOSED
WHEN WE AS PARENTS CAN SHOW
OUR OWN BROKENNESS
AND BE REALLY OPEN
WITH OUR CHILDREN ABOUT
OUR OWN NEED FOR GOD AND OUR
OWN NEED FOR FORGIVENESS.
I DON'T KNOW, TO ME
THE SOFTEST, THE MOST
INTENTIONAL MOMENTS I HAVE
WITH MY GIRLS IS OFTENTIMES
OWNING MY OWN MISTAKES BUT
I THINK THEY CAN CLEARLY
SEE CHRIST IN THAT.
Sheila: I THINK THAT'S
BEAUTIFUL, ACTUALLY.
I THINK IT'S A BEAUTIFUL GIFT
TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN,
TO ADMIT THE FACT,
"I'M NOT GOING TO GET
THIS ALL RIGHT.
BUT HERE'S MY HEART."
I THINK THAT GIVES THEM
PERMISSION THEN TO COME
TO THEIR HEAVENLY FATHER
SAYING, "I DIDN'T GET
THIS RIGHT."
SO I THINK THAT'S...
TALK ABOUT WHAT IT'S LIKE.
YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS'
RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD BUT
YOUR CHILD'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOU.
YOU TALK ABOUT HOW TEMPTING
IT IS TO JUST CHECK OUT.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN "THE GIFT
OF YOUR PRESENCE"?
I RELATE TO YOU IN THE BOOK
BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE
SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT
TO GET AWAY AND BE QUIET
FOR A LITTLE BIT.
Wynter: THERE'S A STORY
THAT I TELL.
I WAS HAVING JUST A DAY
AND I JUST WANTED
TO BE BY MYSELF AND
EVERYBODY ELSE WAS HAPPY.
SO I FELT LIKE I WAS ACTUALLY
DISTURBING THE HAPPINESS.
SO I JUST GOT UP FROM
THE TABLE AND JUST WENT
TO THE ROOM AND THOUGHT,
LIKE, THEY'RE HAPPY, I'M NOT.
SO LET ME JUST BE ALONE.
AND I HEAR ONE OF THE GIRLS
COMING DOWN THE HALL
AND SO I KIND OF BRACE MYSELF
BECAUSE I'M LIKE SHE PROBABLY
NEEDS HELP WITH HOMEWORK
OR WHAT IS IT THAT
SHE IS GOING TO NEED?
AND SO I'M BRACING MYSELF FOR
HER TO COME INTO THE ROOM.
AND SHE COMES IN AND SHE
IS LIKE, "HEY MOMMY!"
I'M LIKE, "HI BABY!
WHAT'S GOING ON?"
SHE SAID, "NOTHING!"
I SAY, "DID YOU NEED
SOMETHING?"
SHE'S LIKE, "NO, I JUST LIKE
BEING WITH YOU."
AND IT WAS IN THAT MOMENT
THAT IT DAWNED ON ME,
LIKE OFTENTIMES WE FEEL
LIKE THEY NEED US TO
BE DOING AND THEY NEED US
TO BE PRODUCING FOR THEM
AND SHOWING THEM AND
TEACHING THEM AND REALLY,
THEY JUST WANT TO BE WITH US
AND THAT OUR PRESENCE MATTERS
BUT NOT OFTEN IN THE WAY
THAT WE THINK IT MATTERS.
BUT IT JUST MATTERS
THAT WE'RE THERE.
SHE JUST CAME IN AND
THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE.
I WASN'T AT MY BEST.
I WASN'T HAPPY AND DOING
A DANCE WITH HER AND SINGING.
I WAS IN MY BED KIND OF
HAVING A MOMENT.
SHE STILL JUST WANTED
TO BE WITH ME.
Randy: SOME OF THE THINGS
THAT YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT,
JUST BEING PRESENT,
BEING WILLING TO BE ADMIT
YOUR MISTAKES,
BEING INTENTIONAL ABOUT
YOUR TIME AND FOCUS.
THEY GO BEYOND JUST RAISING
DAUGHTERS OR EVEN
RAISING CHILDREN.
HOW HAS SOME OF THESE IDEAS
THAT YOU'VE LEARNED
IN YOUR PARENTHOOD CHANGED
THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN
YOURSELVES, BETWEEN OTHER
FAMILY MEMBERS, WHERE
YOU WORK, IN YOUR COMMUNITY;
HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THAT
TRANSLATE OVER?
Jonathan: YEAH, I WOULD SAY
THAT OFTENTIMES AND ESPECIALLY
IN OUR SOCIETY RIGHT NOW
THAT THE GOAL IS PERFECTION;
IF WE DON'T GET PERFECTION
THEN WE JUST WANT OUT.
YOU LOOK AT THAT WITH
DIVORCE RATES, YOU LOOK
AT THAT WITH ALL KINDS
OF RELATIONSHIPS AND
THE REALITY IS THAT
IN ANY GOOD RELATIONSHIP
THERE IS A LEVEL OF GRACE
AND A LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING
AND A LEVEL OF PUSHING THROUGH
THINGS THAT MOST PEOPLE
AREN'T USED TO DOING
OR WANT TO DO.
SO THAT'S REALLY
OUR HOME IS LIKE A SCHOOL.
LIKE WE WANT TO REALLY TEACH
OUR DAUGHTERS THAT LIFE'S
NOT GOING TO BE EASY,
IT IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE MESSY
BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A LEVEL
OF GRACE THAT'S GOING
TO BE NECESSARY IN ORDER
FOR YOU TO HAVE LASTING
RELATIONSHIPS THAT MATTER.
THAT'S NOT JUST
A RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER
IN OUR HOME BUT IT IS OUTSIDE
OF THAT, AND IT'S EVEN
IN UNDERSTANDING
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST.
Randy: IT PROBABLY BETTER
PREPARES THEM FOR LEAVING
THE HOME EVENTUALLY
ONE DAY; RIGHT?
Wynter: YEAH. THAT'S WHAT
WE'RE TRUSTING AND BELIEVING.
Sheila: BECAUSE THE THIRD
SECTION OF YOUR BOOK IS
YOUR DAUGHTER'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE WORLD.
A LOT OF THE WORLD IS KIND OF
SCARY RIGHT NOW AND
I WAS EVEN WONDERING,
BECAUSE YOUR DARLING DAUGHTERS
ARE HERE WITH US
AND I WAS THINKING,
AS PARENTS, HOW DO YOU HELP
THEM UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING
THAT'S GOING ON IN THE WORLD?
WE FACE TRAGEDIES,
WE GO THROUGH ALL SORTS
OF DIFFERENT THINGS,
HOW DO YOU AS PARENTS
DETERMINE WHERE YOU STEP IN
AND SAY, "HERE'S WHAT'S
GOING ON" AND BRING
A PERSPECTIVE OF GOD STILL
BEING IN CONTROL
NO MATTER HOW THINGS APPEAR?
Jonathan: WE'VE GOT
A SCRIPTURE.
THERE IS THIS ONE SCRIPTURE;
I WAS ACTUALLY AFRAID TO FLY
FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND
I FLY WAY TOO MUCH
TO BE AFRAID TO FLY.
THERE IS A SCRIPTURE
THAT SAYS, "HAVE NO FEAR
OF SUDDEN DEATH FOR THEIR RUIN
OVERTAKES THE WICKED
FOR THE LORD WILL BE
AT YOUR RIGHT SIDE AND
KEEP YOUR FOOT
FROM BEING SNARED."
MY WIFE'S LIKE, "THAT'S SUCH
A DEPRESSING VERSE."
[Laughter]
AND IT KIND OF IS EXCEPT FOR
THE FACT THAT IT'S GOD'S
PROMISING THAT HE WILL BE
WITH ME AND HIM PROMISING THAT
EVEN IN THE MIDST OF ALL THE
CHAOS IN THE WORLD HAPPENING
HE IS WITH ME.
FOR ME, THAT'S THE GREATEST
THING THAT WE HAVE,
THE ASSURANCE THAT GOD IS
WITH US, THAT HE IS FOR US.
WE TRY TO GIVE THAT TO
OUR DAUGHTERS EVERY DAY.
REGARDLESS OF WHAT TRAGEDY
HAPPENS, WE ARE OPEN
WITH THEM ABOUT THE WAY
THE WORLD IS AND JUST KNOWING
THAT GOD IS WITH THEM
REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY GO.
Wynter: AND I THINK I'LL
JUST ADD, WE ALWAYS TRY
TO TAKE A PROACTIVE RESPONSE
AND NOT A REACTION WHEN
IT COMES TO TALKING TO
OUR GIRLS OR TELLING THEM
ABOUT THINGS THAT
ARE GOING ON.
SO IN DOING THAT
WE APPROACH TOPICS; WE JUST
APPROACH THE HARD STUFF.
BUT IT GIVES US AN OPPORTUNITY
TO APPROACH IT FROM
GOD'S PERSPECTIVE AND
GOD'S STANDPOINT
ON THOSE THINGS.
SO WE DO THAT; AND
JUST GOING BACK TO GOD'S WORD.
WE JUST GO TO GOD'S WORD
CONSTANTLY BECAUSE WE DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING ELSE TO GO TO.
SO FOR THEM, JUST GOING
BACK TO SCRIPTURE.
I TRY TO FIND ONES THAT
DON'T TALK ABOUT SUDDEN DEATH.
[Laughter]
Jonathan: I WOULD ADD TO THAT
JUST THAT IT'S INTENTIONALITY
BUT FOR US IT'S OFFENSIVE.
LIKE SO MANY OF US CHRISTIANS
WANT TO HUDDLE UP AND JUST
WAIT FOR JESUS TO RETURN.
BUT ULTIMATELY,
HE'S CALLING US TO GO OUT.
I WANT MY GIRLS
TO BE WORLD CHANGERS.
I WANT THEM TO BE GIRLS
THAT ARE GOING OUT
INTO ALL THE WORLD JUST
BRINGING THE GOOD NEWS.
Wynter: BECAUSE WE DO TALK
ABOUT THEIR -- OFTENTIMES
WE THINK ABOUT THE WORLD'S
INFLUENCE ON THEM;
THAT BRINGS FEAR AND ANXIETY
BECAUSE THE WORLD IS GOING
TO INFLUENCE THEM.
BUT WE LIKE TO APPROACH IT
FROM ACTUALLY, YOU'VE BEEN
PLACED HERE TO INFLUENCE,
AND TO BE THE ONE,
TO HAVE THE IMPACT.
AND SO JUST CHALLENGING THEM
TO DO THAT, TO NOT SEE IT
AS A TIME FOR THEM
TO BE AFRAID AND COME BACK.
BUT NO, THIS IS ACTUALLY
A TIME FOR YOU TO STAND UP
AND BE DIFFERENT.
Randy: A GREAT APPROACH.
NOW I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS
BUT IF I WERE TO ASK
YOUR GIRLS WHAT
THEY THOUGHT ABOUT YOU
AS PARENTS THAT ARE
VERY INTENTIONAL ABOUT HOW
THEY GO ABOUT RAISING
THEIR GIRLS IN A ROUGH WORLD
BUT IN A GODLY WAY; RIGHT?
WHAT WOULD YOU HOPE
THEY WOULD SAY ABOUT YOU
AS PARENTS?
Jonathan: YOU CAN START
THAT ONE.
[Laughter]
Wynter: WELL, ACTUALLY
MY HOPE IS THAT THEY WOULD
SAY, (A COUPLE OF THINGS)
ONE, THAT THEY WOULD SAY
WHEN THEY SAW US DO INTERVIEWS
AND THINGS LIKE THIS
THAT IT IS ACTUALLY
WHAT THEY LIVED.
THAT THIS IS WHO WE ARE
AND NOT JUST WHAT WE'RE SAYING
BUT THIS IS WHAT THEY SAW
IN OUR HOUSE AND HOW WE LIVED.
I THINK WE HAVE ASKED THEM
AND THEY DO SAY,
"WE APOLOGIZE OFTEN."
LIKE WE ARE QUICK
TO APOLOGIZE AND JUST SAY,
"YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE WERE WRONG ON THAT ONE."
AND THEN I THINK IT IS JUST
A GREAT TESTIMONY,
WHAT JONATHAN SAYS ABOUT
JUST HIS FAMILY; JUST THAT
HE HAS TASTED AND SEEN.
SO THAT'S MY PRAYERS;
THAT THEY'VE TASTED AND SEEN
AND THEY DIDN'T SEE PERFECTION
BUT THEY SAW THAT GOD IS GOOD
AND THAT GOD'S GRACE IS REAL
AND THAT WE NEED IT AND
THAT BECAUSE WE NEED IT,
IT IS GOOD.
Jonathan: I WOULD ADD TO THAT
AND JUST SAY I HOPE AND PRAY
THAT MY GIRLS KNOW THAT
THEY ARE DEEPLY LOVED,
AND THAT THEY WOULD NEVER
EVER QUESTION GOD'S LOVE
BECAUSE I WAS A BAD EXAMPLE
TO THEM IN THAT.
SO THAT'S MY HEART;
THAT THEY WOULD KNOW THAT
I LOVE THEM BEYOND
ANY DECISION THEY COULD
EVER MAKE, ANYTHING THEY COULD
EVER DO AND THAT THEY WOULD
KNOW THAT GOD'S HEART
IS GOOD BECAUSE
THEIR DADDY'S HEART WAS GOOD,
EVEN IN MY MISTAKES.
Randy: SO GOOD! SO GOOD!
I THINK WHAT YOU JUST HEARD
IS A GLIMPSE OF THE HEART
OF GOD BECAUSE WHAT HE WANTS
FOR US IS GOOD.
HE HAS A PLAN FOR US
AND IT IS GOOD.
IT IS LIFE.
NOT EVERYONE IS GETTING
TO SEE THAT.
SOME PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR
THAT THERE IS A GOOD GOD
WHO LOVES THEM, WHO WANTS
TO BLESS THEM, WHO WANTS
TO PROVIDE FOR THEM
AND JUST SAY, "COME AND
TASTE THAT I AM GOOD."
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
IN NEED RIGHT NOW, SHEILA.
YOU'VE BEEN THERE,
YOU'VE SEEN IT BUT
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT WHEN
YOU HELP US WE CAN CHANGE
WHAT'S GOING ON.
WE CAN GIVE THEM THE LIFE
AND LOVE OF GOD.
WATCH THIS WITH US.
Isak: WE'RE IN THIS VILLAGE
WHERE THEY'VE REALLY BEEN
SUFFERING WITH
BAD DROUGHT.
THEY'VE HAD NO REAL RAIN HERE
IN THE LAST YEAR.
YOU CAN JUST SEE
HOW DRY EVERYTHING IS.
THIS IS AN AREA WHERE THEY
WOULD NORMALLY PLANT CROPS
BUT THERE ARE NO CROPS
BEING PLANTED HERE.
THERE IS
NO FOOD.
THERE'S ALSO
NO LIFE.
Announcer:
IN SOUTHERN AFRICA
DROUGHT AND FAMINE
HAVE DEPRIVED
ENTIRE VILLAGES OF FOOD.
FOR THE MOTHERS OF CHILDREN
IN THESE AREAS
THEIR ONLY WAY
OF LIFE
IS TO PLAN
FOR DEATH.
Isak:
GRAVE AFTER GRAVE
AFTER GRAVE...
FOR CHILDREN
WHO HAVE A NAME,
CHILDREN WHO MEAN
THE WORLD TO THEIR MOTHERS
AND TO THEIR FAMILIES,
CHILDREN WHO DON'T
DESERVE TO DIE
SIMPLY BECAUSE THEIR VILLAGE
WAS RAVAGED BY DROUGHT --
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T
HAVE MISSION FEEDING.
YOU SEE, WE CAN STOP CHILDREN
FROM FILLING THESE GRAVES.
WE CAN BRING
THE CYCLE OF DEATH
TO AN END
IF WE JUST ACT.
YOU SAY,
"BUT WHAT DO I DO?
HOW DO I STOP CHILDREN
FROM DYING?"
THIS IS HOW
YOU DO IT.
YOU OPEN
YOUR HEART,
YOU GIVE OUT OF
WHAT YOU HAVE,
YOU GIVE THE BEST GIFT
THAT YOU CAN GIVE,
YOU GIVE MISSION FEEDING,
YOU GIVE LIFE --
LIFE IN THE FORM
OF A BOWL OF FOOD
THAT NOT ONLY
FILLS A STOMACH
BUT EMPTIES
A GRAVE.
PLEASE DO IT
FOR THE MOTHER
THAT DOESN'T WANT
TO LOSE ANOTHER CHILD.
DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN
THAT DON'T DESERVE TO DIE.
Randy: THAT SHOT
OF ALL THOSE GRAVES,
IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART.
THEY SAY
THEIR ONLY WAY OF LIFE
IS PLANNING FOR DEATH.
THAT IS NOT THE HEART
OF OUR FATHER,
THAT'S NOT WHAT GOD WANTS.
THAT'S WHY HE ASKS US
TO BE HIS HANDS, HIS FEET,
TO GO TO REACH OUT.
SHEILA, WE CAN CHANGE THAT.
Sheila: YEAH,
I STOOD IN THAT GRAVEYARD
WHEN I WAS THERE IN ANGOLA
AND THE THING
THAT WAS SO MOVING TO ME
WERE THE LITTLE TRIBUTES
THAT HAD BEEN LEFT
ON EVERY SINGLE GRAVESIDE
BY THE PARENTS,
SMALL THINGS, JUST SOMETHING.
LIKE ONE LITTLE BOOTIE.
SOMETHING TO SAY,
"MY CHILD WAS ON THIS EARTH
AND MY CHILD MATTERED."
BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE GET USED
TO PICTURES LIKE THAT
AND WE THINK,
WELL, MOTHERS IN AFRICA,
THEY GET USED
TO LOSING THEIR CHILDREN.
NO, THEY DON'T.
NO MOTHER EVER GETS USED
TO BURYING A CHILD.
IT WOULD BE OVERWHELMING
IF IT WASN'T THAT
WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
BECAUSE I'VE SEEN
THE DIFFERENCE IT MAKES.
THE FOOD THAT WE PROVIDE,
IT LOOKS LIKE
A BOWL OF OATMEAL BUT IT HAS
EVERYTHING THAT CHILDREN IN
THAT AREA OF THE WORLD NEED
TO THRIVE, VITAMINS,
ALL THE MINERALS THEY NEED.
AND LITERALLY,
ONE BOWL OF FOOD
CHANGES FROM DEATH TO LIFE.
I'VE GONE TO
THE MALNUTRITION CLINICS
AND HELD BABIES
THAT LOOK AS IF THEY HAVE
JUST MOMENTS LEFT TO LIVE.
BUT I'VE BEEN IN THE VILLAGES
WHERE OUR FEEDING PROGRAM
IS ALREADY IN PLACE
AND I'VE SEEN THE DIFFERENCE.
THEY LOOK LIKE OUR KIDS.
THEY'RE RUNNING AROUND.
THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT WE CAN ALL DO, RANDY.
Randy: ABSOLUTELY!
IT'S VERY COST EFFICIENT:
$30, $50, OR $100
WILL HELP FEED THREE,
FIVE OR TEN CHILDREN
FOR THREE MONTHS.
WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS
FOR AWHILE.
MY PARENTS STARTED DOING THIS
MANY, MANY YEARS AGO
WITH PETER AND ANN PRETORIUS,
ISAK'S PARENTS,
WHO YOU SAW EARLIER.
ONE OF THE THINGS, SHEILA,
THAT WE CAN DO IN ADDITION
TO GIVING THE FOOD, WE HAVE
FOOD FACTORIES IN COUNTRY
AND THE FOOD FACTORY
CHANGES EVERYTHING.
IT ALLOWS US TO REACH
MORE PEOPLE, IT ALLOWS US
TO BE MORE EFFICIENT
AND WE ACTUALLY
TEACH THEM A TRADE
TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES
LONG-TERM.
BUT WE'RE AT A POINT NOW
WHERE I'VE PROBABLY
UPGRADED MY PHONE FIVE TIMES
SINCE WE UPGRADED
THAT FOOD FACTORY.
IF WE UPGRADE THE FOOD FACTORY
THIS YEAR WE CAN INCREASE
THE PRODUCTION BY 50%
AND THAT'S HUGE!
THAT MEANS MORE FOOD
IN EMERGENCY AREAS.
THAT MEANS MORE
OF THAT TURNAROUND
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, SHEILA,
WHERE WE SEE THAT CHILD
GO FROM DEATH'S DOORSTEP
TO RUNNING AND PLAYING.
IT'S TAKING THEM LIFE.
THAT'S WHAT WE WANT YOU TO DO.
WE WANT YOU TO JOIN US
IN GIVING LIFE
TO THESE CHILDREN
ALL ACROSS SOUTHERN AFRICA
WE CAN TURN AROUND
THE BAD SITUATIONS,
WE CAN GIVE THEM LIFE
INSTEAD OF JUST
PREPARING FOR DEATH.
BUT WE NEED YOU TO JOIN US
SO GO TO THE PHONE, CALL US,
KEEP CALLING IF YOU DON'T
GET THROUGH IMMEDIATELY
OR GO ONLINE AND MAKE
THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN.
TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE
A DIFFERENCE.
Announcer:
IN IMPOVERISHED AND FAMINE STRICKEN AREAS OF AFRICA,
CHILDREN
ARE SUFFERING.
THE NEED
IS GREAT.
AND WITHOUT FOOD,
THEY FACE DEATH BY STARVATION.
WITH YOUR SUPPORT,
YOU WILL HELP FEED AND CARE
FOR CHILDREN
IN CRISIS AREAS
OF SUDAN, ANGOLA,
AND MOZAMBIQUE.
WITH AFRICA FACING ONGOING
FOOD SHORTAGES AND DROUGHT,
WE URGENTLY NEED
TO REPLENISH SUPPLIES
AND COME TO THE AID
OF 400,000 CHILDREN
COUNTING ON US.
YOUR LIFESAVING GIFT
OF $30, $50, OR $100
WILL HELP FEED AND CARE FOR
THREE, FIVE OR TEN CHILDREN
FOR THE NEXT
THREE MONTHS.
PLEASE ALSO CONSIDER
AN ADDITIONAL GIFT TO HELP
PROVIDE CRITICALLY NEEDED
UPGRADES TO OUR FOOD FACTORY
THAT WILL INCREASE
OVERALL PRODUCTION BY
A STAGGERING 50%.
THIS IS A
$216,000 CHALLENGE
ABOVE OUR NORMAL
FEEDING BUDGET
THAT COULD HELP SAVE
EVEN MORE LIVES.
WITH YOUR GIFT
OF ANY AMOUNT
WE'LL SEND YOU
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MESS.
IN HER NEW BOOK,
SHEILA WALSH BRINGS INSIGHT
TO KNOWING THE PEACE
AND PRESENCE OF CHRIST
IN THE MIDST OF LIFE'S
INEVITABLE MESSES.
WITH YOUR GIFT
OF $100 OR MORE
TO HELP FEED AND CARE
FOR TEN CHILDREN,
WE WILL SEND YOU SHEILA'S BOOK
PLUS THE "ARISE" COFFEE MUG.
THIS HEAT-ACTIVATED MUG
REVEALS ISAIAH 61
EACH TIME YOU FILL IT
WITH A WARM BEVERAGE;
A WONDERFUL WAY
TO BEGIN YOUR DAY.
AND FINALLY, WITH YOUR GIFT
OF $1,000 OR MORE
TO HELP FEED AND CARE
FOR 100 CHILDREN,
BE SURE TO REQUEST
OUR "DETERMINED EAGLE"
BRONZE SCULPTURE.
PLEASE CALL, WRITE, OR
MAKE YOUR GIFT ONLINE.
Sheila: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
EVERY SINGLE GIFT
MAKES A DIFFERENCE.
EVERY SINGLE CHILD,
EVERY SINGLE MOTHER
THAT'S PRAYING THAT WE WILL
HEAR THEIR PRAYERS ARE GOING
TO BE TOUCHED BECAUSE YOU
AND I REACH OUT AND
DO SOMETHING NOW
IN JESUS' NAME.
SO THANK YOU.
Randy: WHEN YOU CALL,
IF YOU WOULD LIKE JONATHAN
AND WYNTER'S BOOK,
SHE IS YOURS, THE BOOK CAN
BE YOURS JUST REQUEST IT.
AND OF COURSE, IF YOU WANT
SHEILA'S WONDERFUL BOOK,
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MESS,
JUST ASK FOR THAT.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY,
JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN.
WE APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
YOU DO AS WE REACH AROUND
THE WORLD AND SHARE HIS LOVE.
WE APPRECIATE JONATHAN
AND WYNTER BEING HERE
SHARING THAT HEART OF GOD.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
THANK ALL OF YOU FOR
BEING HERE ON LIFE TODAY.
DON'T MISS US EVERY DAY
ON LIFE TODAY.
♪
♪
♪
Announcer: WHEN PLANNING
YOUR FUTURE,
KEEP THEIR FUTURE
IN MIND.
CONTACT LIFE PLANNING
SERVICES TODAY.
>> LIFE TODAY IS MADE
POSSIBLE BY THE SUPPORTERS OF
LIFE OUTREACH INTERNATIONAL.
YOUR GIFT WILL BE USED EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE EXEMPT PURPOSES OF LIFE.
THE MINISTRY FEATURES
SPECIFIC OUTREACHES
AS EXAMPLES OF THE PROGRAMS
IT SUPPORTS AND CONDUCTS.
GIFTS ARE CONSIDERED
TO BE WITHOUT RESTRICTION
AS TO USE UNLESS EXPLICITLY
STIPULATED BY THE DONOR.
THE MINISTRY IS A MEMBER
OF THE E.C.F.A.